Monday, February 21, 2011

anger a medicine ?

My nerves are burning with anger, I need to flex my arm because I feel each joint is numbed with the burden of his irrational behaviour. 'How could he?' is the one thought that sears my taut brain , burning a hole in my regulated thought process and filling with we impulsive retribution.
I box my way out of my anger, hurling my disbelief and reliving my chargin, with different descriptive phrases. I lash out with many plans to make him pay for his deeds. I imagine him suffering the shock I suffered.
Anger consumes me , ego controls my thoughts and guides me to reclaim lost face. Each action takes me away from the problem , building a demonic castle of his misdeeds , a wall of protection around me and a field of broken glass between the two.When Im done ranting I must walk barefoot ,ego in hand , to reclaim the relationship.Somehow I do it everytime. Common sense prevails over ego.
I think that pushing  each relationship to the level of maximum tolerance may not be the answer to addressing a mistake but we all try it. Another method we use, is catching the person off guard, reminding them that we were right and theyr were grossly wrong . When someone repeats a mistake, it hits home harder and we fight back with vengence, we may be hurting ourselves more and it may be time to step away.
If we could vent our anger with grace, it would be the best solution we could find. A clear demonstarion of hurt, distrust and an explantation of what happened without repetetion, will make us think clearly and ensure that we dont alienate the other person. We use repetetion to emphasise the situation , with growing emphasis the other person senses built up hatred and switches off.
Bringing your anger out as another emotion , expressing it without physical violence but still in words and in volume may work as therapy. It will communicate to the other person , who you are and what you need. It will help you face the problem. Expression of anger, if controlled can be used to build a relationship .Walking away in anger and composing yourself to address the problem again ,is quite unnatural and resembles an act.
It is true that we often need to get away to think , but when we have much to say , walking away because we are angry may not be the solution. It is in anger that we find love and humour. It is also here that we find our most secret fears and it may be here that we open up those fears to the ones we love, allowing them to see what causes the problems we live with.
Reaching out and reaching within to reach out , is a process of constant self understanding , it is best that we allow our dearest ones to be a part of who we are at every stage. Apologising becomes easier and sometimes truth finds ways of exhibiting itself without the artifice of a confession.
If we look at anger , crying, love and jealousy as expressions , and ways to communicate, we may conquer some of our fears.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

repetitive art as therapy

A hundred lines repeated one following the other, sometimes one better than the other and some lighter more delicate with growing involvement, and some plain and just , but each drawn to take your mind away from this world of problems is a line in a definite direction. Patience , time and therapy are achieved in half an hour with just rewards of a calmer mind. A therapy well followed and built upon, reminds us that we yearn first for our inner peace and then for material gains. 
The latter , obliterates all manner of peace.In the many plans to secure our future we are unsure and unsteady.
Decisive action is not natural to many. Inaction is quite impossible. It is this specific moment of action that I study.To act almost at the point of thought creates the best results. A studied philosophy of the mind , helps eliminate contrived thought , creating pure understanding.
It is in this process that we apply line therapy. Lines , curves, pictures all drawn for the single purpose of finding yourself result in unusual creative output, breaking visual barriers and freeing cyclical thought process.
When we obsess over our problems, we go over them again and again. In repetitive art, the the mind gets a break from repetition , as it watches the hand repeat lines. By compensation the mind is freed of its burden and becoming light again.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

taking your time

The stock market is not the most interesting subject to start with but its the one thats on my mind today. Im trading intraday and Id like to make the big leap to big numbers.
The biggest problem I face is buying at the right price.
Every morning I enter my buys at 8:45 and watch the market from 9:30.
Choosing one stock and following it is just as painful as choosing 4 stocks. The smiles come out when the market goes up and the worry lines start forming when the lines start moving slowly.
The thrill in making money is well compensated by the pain experienced in earning it.
Cutting losses is the best lesson I have learnt from trading.
You can earn back everything you loose, but u need to have a good intution and you need to find that steel in you.
Finding your courage and patience are two lessons so well learnt in the last few months, that Im beginnning to think that trading builds character. Trading has brought me face to face with reality , making me faster and intutive. I wish we were not cautined against trading soo much , the stigma of gambling and betting run very close to the stigma trading bears.
I am about to make my first loss in 3 months and Im waiting to take the call, every paise counts. I believe I will be wiser tomorrow.